Friday, December 20, 2013

Birthed Within

The world continues to press on even through this supposed restful time.  I am still caught up in between conversations, debacles, debates.  Swimming in perceptions between people, leaders, friends.  

And I am dead tired.  

The year of restoration, a promise, I remain holding on to because it is God's word for me at the beginning of this one.  Even in the middle of this exhaustion of still making hearts meet, bridging gaps and mending broken ties.  I hold on to it.  The year is not yet over and the promise has already been spoken.  It is on now a matter of time and the patience within my waiting.  That I shall be receiving soon, a moment of utmost peace and rest.  

I am hanging on to the promise of Advent.

The Greatest Gift has been such a great companion for me this season and this morning's read has got me grounded on the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth.  How the priest and his wife have been forgotten and barren yet their names are pregnant with their promise.  Zechariah means "God who remembers" and Elizabeth means "God is an oath or God is abundance".  How beautiful to read these reflections this morning.  I am refreshed.  

This is always the best place for miracles: God meets us right where we don't believe. When our believing runs out, God's loving runs on.  This is the season of the Advent of God.  The barren will birth.  Dreams will wake into reality.  Nothing is impossible with God.
You don't have to work for the coming of the Lord--you don't have to work for Christmas. The miracle is always that God is gracious.  You don't have to earn Christmas, you don't have to perform Christmas, you don't have to make Christmas.  You can rest in Christ. You can wait with Christ.  Open your heart to the miracle of grace.  He will prepare your heart for the coming of the Lord. 

This Advent for me has been quite a stretch and I can feel it in my mind, my heart and my spirit.  A stretch in believing.  A stretch in hoping.  A stretch in waiting.  But I am realizing that this is why this season needs to stretch.

The stretch is making space.  The stretch is giving way.  The stretch is opening that part of our hearts where God--Emmanuel--can be birthed within.  

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Heart Beating Inside His

I am silent and my heart acknowledges the vulnerable rhythm of its beating.  Only a few more days till Christmas and I let myself soak it all in.  This journey into truly understanding what the season means. I've been following devotional after devotional and as much as I want to write about everything I read or listen to or see, I do not have a lot of time.  Today I'm given the grace of time, and words because I am just moved by the story of 2 mothers listening to the beating heart of a daughter gone. 

I read the story from Ann Voskamp's post today on "What to Do With a Hurting Heart This Christmas".  The title of the post just captured me because it's what I have been thinking about for many days.  How do people who are experiencing situations of aching celebrate Christmas? 

She illustrates this by sharing the story of 2 mothers and a daughter's heart.  And I watch and let my own heart be moved.

Ann writes, "When God hears your heart, that’s what He hears — the still-beating heart of His Son. The Tree is where God’s grace does heart transplants: God takes broken hearts —- and gives you His."

I want to listen to my own heart with a stethoscope and see what I will hear.  I wonder what the beats will sound like.  I wonder if tears will well up my eyes too knowing that the core of my heart is Christ's?

So many things are to be ached for this Christmas.  Life can use a bit more certainty.  A bit more company.  A bit more joy.  A bit more abundance.  A bit more peace.  A bit more love.  A bit more faith.  A bit more authenticity.  A bit more.

And when our hearts ache don't you always feel like it's breaking?  Don't you always feel like it won't last the day?  Don't you always wonder where you're gonna get the next rush of strength just to keep it pumping so you can love?  And Live?

I quiet down this morning and think of my heart and how the very of core of Christ has been planted in there peacefully like His presence in the tabernacle.

My heart will beat not because of me, but because of Him.  And I'll be able to get up again and again and love again and again.  And live again and again.  Because of Him.